Although I hated being pregnant... I will say that I loved giving birth! It was one of the most surreal and powerful moments of my life. I have never more confident in what my body can do. I want to make sure I remember all about the day Clark was born so I can tell him about it one day. (Even though I'm pretty sure he will never ever want to know.) I woke up around 4:30 and my pants were damp. I was pretty sure that I just peed my pants... so I went to the bathroom. Christian was already awake so I told him what had happened and we sat around for about 20 minutes trying to decide if it was actually my water breaking or if I had indeed just had an accident in my sleep. haha Well.. the fluid kept coming so we decided we better go in. I had always pictured a frantic race to get to the hospital... but both of us were very calm and really relaxed. I wasn't really having painful contractions so I decided to take a shower and get a little bit ready. We headed to the hospital around 5:45.
They checked us in around 6 in the morning. I was praying that they would keep me. I had already been to the hospital thinking I was in labor and I was going to die if I was sent home. When we got there they checked me... my water had broken and I was dilated to 4cm. We were sent to our delivery room. We absolutely loved loved loved the nurses that helped us deliver baby. They were so friendly and made the experience that much better.
I started having more painful contractions about every 5 minutes around 7:30. The anesthesiologist was in a c-section so we waited awhile to get the epidural. I got my epidural around 9 and after that everything was smooth sailing. I didn't feel any pain and I was able to rest and relax. I took a nap and ate a lot of delicious ice chips. The epidural was a weird feeling. I could move my legs mostly... but it took all of my concentration and usually a little assistance. I was able to feel my bottom half all through labor and delivery..but without any pain! It was great!
My entire pregnancy I have pretty much felt like crap. I was throwing up on the daily, usually multiple times a day. So it came as no surprise that all throughout labor I was dry heaving. That part... I could have done without.. but I was so excited to meet little Clark that I really didn't care.
After my epidural they started me on pitocin at 10AM to make things progress more quickly. Once I had both pitocin and the epidural in my system I could not stop shaking.
Christian sat in the chair next to me and studied. He is in physical therapy school and was missing class so it made things a little more stressful. But I was so grateful for the support of his professors and all of his classmates that went above and beyond in taking notes and pictures and making sure that he would be able to be caught up so he could enjoy the next couple of days.
For the next few hours we hung out and rested. They checked me at around 1:15 and I was dilated to 8cm. We thought for sure that he would be here within the next couple of hours. Christian and I had made bets on when he would come. Christian said 2:45 and I said 3:30. We were both wrong.
I kept progressing for the next couple hours. Around 4 I fully dilated. My nurse wanted me to do a few practice pushes. Afterwords we decided to wait a little longer so he would descend a little further to make the delivery easier. At 4:30 we did some more practice pushes and they could see little Clark coming out. They called my doctor... and he was on his way.
At around 5:30 we started pushing for real. My epidural medicine bag was empty so I was a little nervous about that. The epidural was still in my body but I knew that I was not going to get more. Luckily I didn't feel a thing till after he came. To say that pushing was exhausting was an understatement. But we were so so so close to meeting our little man! My doctor came into the room around 5:45. He took over from the nurses and after about 3 sets of pushes he was here! I always thought I would be one of those people who did not want to see anything. But because of the position I was in both Christian and I were able to see most of it happen. And to be honest.. it was really really cool! I am so happy that I didn't close my eyes and miss that experience. Clark Wesley Johnson entered the world at 6:02 on Tuesday November 4th.
They placed him on my chest so I could look at him while they cleaned him off. He was so perfect. I can't believe how instantly we fell in love. He was everything I had hoped for. I have never felt so close to my Heavenly Father. Clark has brought such a sweet spirit into our family.
The doctor started to sew me up but I was bleeding a lot a more than I should have been and they couldn't figure out why. It took them about 45 minutes to figure everything out. I just wanted them to be done so I could spend time with my little family. Christians face was completely white and you could tell that he was terrified. Everything was of course fine. I hadn't loved my doctor up throughout my pregnancy. But I loved him during delivery. He made me feel really calm and I was confident in his ability that he would be able to fix everything. He was trying to talk to me and keep me distracted. He really wanted to go vote because it was election day. He asked if I was a democrat and if that was the reason that I was making things complicated. I thought it was pretty funny. Eventually they got everything figured out.
During this time I got to see Christian transform into a dad. He got to hold our perfect little Clark for the first time and it was so surreal. I could see him instantly fall in love. It was so cool to be able to share this experience with the person that I love most in this world. He is the best Dad. Watching them, I got to fall in love with Christian all over again.
I wish I was one of those people who look flawless right after giving birth.... but that is not the case for me. I was exhausted and it shows in these pictures! Haha
Anyways... we were finally transferred to a recovery room. My mom and my Aunt Mary and Cindy came to meet Clark and bring us dinner. I hadn't enjoyed food in 9 months... so to say that the sandwich I ate was one of the yummiest things I have ever tasted was an understatement. I appreciated that meal more than they know!
The first night was defiantly a one of the most magical and overwhelming nights of my life. Christian and I just kept staring at him in awe. He was literally so cute and so perfect. I just wanted to stare at him. Lucky me.. he didn't sleep much that night so I got to do a lot of just that.
The next morning my sister and her family got to stop by and see Clark. They were on their way to Disney Land and the timing was perfect! The kids weren't allowed to come into the room because of the hospital rules so my Mom and Aunt waited in the waiting room with them while Shera and Brad got to come meet Clark. I was so excited for them to be there!
After they left we just hung out the three of us. That day was a little overwhelming. Leading up to Clark's birth I was definatly on the fence of whether or not I was going to breastfeed. I wasn't sure that I wanted to but felt like I needed to give it a chance because I knew it would be best for Clark. So that first night/day I was working my hardest at breastfeeding but Clark would not latch on. I was so frustrated and the nursers weren't very helpful. I was told I would see a lactation specialist but they she never showed up. By that evening I was very discouraged. Clark had eaten next to nothing and was dehydrated and starting to get lethargic. I was requesting to do some supplemental feeding because I was worried about Clark but my day time nurse shot me down. She made me even more discouraged and stressed out. Right before we got discharged we got a new nurse. She was an angel! She literately turned my whole experience around. She put both my mind and Christian's mind at ease. She gave me tips on how to make breast feeding easier... but she also gave me some food I could feed Clark in case my milk didn't come in or I decided to change my mind about breast feeding. I literally broke down in tears out of gratitude for this nurse. In the end we decided that breast feeding wasn't the best choice for us... I am so grateful for the patience and the service that she gave us. She was the best!
At around 8 we finally got discharged and were able to take our little guy home. I dressed Clark in his cute outfit and we put him in his carseat and off we went!
Clark has literally flipped our world upside down in the best way possible. I am so grateful for the opportunity we have to be parents. I can't wait to see what is in store for him. But for now I am enjoying every last snuggle.
