Dear Clark

Dear Clark, 

I just put you down after your first feeding for the night.  I walked into your room after hearing your cries.  Your eyes were closed.  I tired to sneak up on you so you wouldn't know I was there.  I was contemplating if I should let you cry it out or if I should feed you some milk.  You heard me and you opened your eyes just a little and flashed me your "please mom just pick me up and feed me smile".  Of course I couldn't turn you down.  It's true.  Your four and a half month self has your dad and I wrapped around your finger.  

So I pick you up.  Sit down in our chair.  I start to lean you back.  Before the bottle even hits your mouth you start your "I know the milk is coming air-suck".  I love it.  But if I am being honest I would love it a lot more in 8 hours then right now.  But I know this precious you and me time won't last forever so I am trying not to take these late night feedings for granted.  Plus, it is the only time you will nuzzle up to me and give me half a snuggle.  And we both know that I would do anything for one of your rare snuggles.

You finally finish your bottle.  So I put you down in your crib.  You would think I would run back to my bed.  But I can't help but watch you sleep.  To any other human being this would be creepy.  But you are my baby boy and watching you sweetly sleep erases all of the hard times from our previous day.  As I watch you, I can't help but think of all the hopes and dreams I have for the person that you will become.  I pray that I will have the streghth to be the mom you need.  I lean down and give you one last kiss and whisper our phrase, "Goodnight little man, I love you more than you will ever know."  

I finally peel myself away and crawl back to bed. While part of me wishes that this will be the night where you only wake up this one time, I know that you will be up again in a few hours and we will start our little routine all over again. 

But for now I wish you sweet dreams,  And it's true Clark, I love you more than you will ever know.  See you in a few hours.   

Love, 

Mom 

4 Months

Our little man is officially 4 months old!  I can't believe how fast the last 4 months have gone.  Life with Clark is simply the best.  He is so worth all of the sleepless nights, dirty diapers, spit up covered shoulders, and fussy moments.  He is pure joy.  I am so happy that he is ours forever. 

Clark is finally starting to enjoy tummy time... just a little bit.  He will stay for like 10 minutes before losing his mind.  It's a huge improvement.  

He pretty much always looks surprised.  I think it's because is eyes are so big.  He is always curious about the things around him.  He never sits still. 

Every little thing goes into his mouth.  He thinks fingers and forearms are the tastiest.  He also loves to chomp on toys. 

His sleeping habits have greatly improved.  He usually hits they hay around 6:30 or 7.  Sleeps till one or two, eats.  Sleeps till 5, eats.  Then sleeps till 6:30.  He is also finally learning the joy of nap. Let's hope those 10 minute cat naps are a thing of the past, cause this mama is really enjoying those two hour naps.

He is such a happy baby.  It doesn't take much more than a glance to get him to smile.  His laughs are getting more and more regular too.   Sometimes Christian studies out-loud and he thinks it is the funniest thing ever.  Who wouldn't love nuero-anatomy? (Me, I wouldn't love nuero-anatomy.)  

He has one blanket that is super soft that he loves to cuddle with.  It calms him down 90% of the time.  He still thinks cuddling with mom is the worst. But every once in awhile he forgets that cuddling is not fun and he'll give me a good snuggle.  I melt.

He also started the drooly faze of life.  He loves to have spit bubbles surrounding his lips and a good line of drool dribbling from his chin.  

He is literally the cutest, best thing in this world.  I wish we could freeze time because I blinked twice and he decided not to be a newborn anymore.  We sure love our little 4 month old Clark more than anything!!